Thursday, November 01, 2012

Life on my own #33: Live blogging the apartment

Two or three guys enter the hall to the upstairs apartment. I, the innocent little downstairs-dweller, am sitting here. This is what I hear through the thin wall.

“That smells like poop.”

Some rustling.

Mumble, mumble, mumble.

Keys unlock the upstairs door.

Sniff, grunt, mumble.

(What, are they drunk or something? It’s too early.)

“Yeah, that’s what Brian’s like…” and some strange groaning.

Laughter.

Dragging some sort of tarp-sounding thing upstairs.

A chime or something.

Singing. Yes, singing.

More speech I can’t make out.

A large burp.

Whistling. And it’s not me.

Talking.

“Huh?”

No response.

“What? Where’d he go? There it is.”

“Yep, it’s still there.”

More tarp rustling.

Mumbling.

“No they’re not.”

Mumbling.

“Huh?”

More mumbling. These guys have communication problems.

I think I hear a TV or something.

Singing…

Speech.

“Whoa, juice!” (Well, that’s what it sounded like.)

----------------------

No joke. I really did hear that in the last three minutes. I’m not making any of it up. (And yes, these are the same guys who watch Friends a lot.)

Not only that, one of them started singing “Dust in the Wind.”

4 comments:

LittleChai said...

The criminal justice side of me totally thinks those guys murdered someone and are dragging the tarp around... it has been decomposing a while so it now smells, and they did not realize there would still be bodily "juice" in it.... my mind is a scary place...

p.s. Now this is my second go for this comment on the robot-test! Maybe it is my vision... I do have a splitting headache at the moment!

Sarah said...

Hahahaha. I love that theory. If I ever meet them, I will show them this blog post and let them amuse themselves.

Aw, I hope your headache goes away!

Abby said...

Is this where we insert the comment "guys are just weird..."? :-D

I concur with A, the whole tarp thing made me think of dead bodies and all that...

The funny part is, their conversation might have made sense if you had heard the whole thing.

Sarah said...

Abby: Yes, that comment is quite apropos! And yeah, I kind of thought of that too, although some of the other mumbling (that came after I posted) made me think there might have been an animal involved instead. And I'm sure not sure the convo would have made all that much more sense if I had heard it all. They're still guys, remember? :D