Thursday, February 13, 2014
Review: Real Men Don't Text: A New Approach to Dating
Real Men Don't Text: A New Approach to Dating by Ruthie Dean
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I'm not part of the notorious "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" camp of Christian non-daters. But I'll admit, it's hard to find solid ground where I can date with a clean conscience, given my understanding of being called to Christlikeness, but without the legalism. And how in the world do you find a guy willing to do the same?
A friend put me onto this book on the day the Kindle version was free. I figured, why not? I was pleasantly surprised to read some advice from a woman who didn't pretend she'd done it all right. In fact, a lot of the advice comes from having first done everything wrong -- and the bits her husband adds provide valuable clarity from the male perspective. Drawing on those experiences, sociological research and biblical morals (it's written primarily for women who are Christian or Jewish), she distills her advice into concrete do's (and don'ts), with clear and specific examples and a dose of "do this 'cause it works, not just 'cause I say so" ... which for a gal like me, who's unsure how to date well, is gold. For the record, there's a lot in here a guy may benefit from learning, as well -- if only because of the glimpse it provides men into the feminine psyche!
Gems like this keep you laughing through much of the book:
"KEEP ME UPDATED?! I read his last sentence at least nine hundred times and copied and pasted his message into an email to ten friends begging them to tell me "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?" --in all caps, mind you. I remember reviewing over and over that he wrote "Hi, Ruthie" with no exclamation point, which clearly meant he wasn't excited after writing my name -- which could only translate that he just wasn't that into me. ..."
Spoiler (well, not really): The guy emailing that to her? She ended up marrying him.
I don't recommend it without reservation. Only about five books exist which I would. There are obviously situations in which breaking her rules is about the wisest thing to do -- and there always will be. But the author does an excellent job explaining the whys behind the hows so it's easier to discern when the hows don't necessarily apply. And for someone wondering how to date "in the world of texting, Twitter crushes and online dating," it's an easy read with a lot of food for thought -- and probably a good kick in the pants for some of us gals to build our confidence and shore up our identity instead of trying to find it in relationship with a guy.
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