I still use Facebook, despite previous rants against its effects on our lives. My job also entails that I Google a lot of randomness. And, I think at some point I told Facebook I didn't want to have personalized ads. These are the amusingly irrelevant results. Prepare to laugh.

I do drink coffee... On occasion. By which I mean, once a week, if that. I'm not addicted. I plan to keep it that way after following a friend of mine's account of his coffee cleanse. The "cleanse," or cold-turkey coffee quittance, began Friday. Nearly all his tweets since then chronicle the trials and tribulations of an addict's sudden abstinence. And they're amusing. Yea tho I walk thru the aisle of the freshly ground coffee, I will fear no evil #coffeecleanseday1 Who ever thought cheap church coffee could be so tempting? # coffeecleanseday2 Apparently there is a direct connection between drinking coffee and remembering to use deodorant. # coffeecleanseday2 Nerves are short. I got mad at a spatula. A FLIPPIN' SPATULA. # coffeecleanseday3 Can't read my own hand writing. Dialed five variations of the same numbers. Never did reach a real phone. I'm losing it. # coffeecleanseday3 Before you ask, I have no idea if the tweet...

If you haven’t already guessed by the post title, I finished reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies this morning. Wow, that made me laugh so much. And I took probably half a dozen double takes when a well-loved (and well-remembered) quote got changed up to fit with the zombie gag: “A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages; she must be well trained in the fighting styles of the Kyoto masters and the modern tactics and weaponry of Europe. And besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions…” See? Spliced in there, brazenly, without the second author batting an eye. I picture him sitting there at his laptop keyboard, gleefully thinking up how many silly zombie references he can cram into the narrative without obliterating the original story entirely. All in all, it was a hilarious book. I did not read it as serious literature, and I ...

Smartphoner picks up phone. Smartphoner speaks to phone: Where's the closest gas station? Phone: That is an unintelligible statement. Smartphoner: What's so unintelligible about it? Phone: That is an unintelligible statement. Smartphoner: It's not a statement, it's a question. Phone: That is an unintelligible statement, you idiot. Smartphoner: *sigh* Where can I buy gas? Phone: You are able to buy gas at any gas station. Smartphoner: I know that. Where's the closest gas station? Phone: That is another unintelligible statement. Smartphoner: What's so unintelligible about it? *speaks loudly and distinctly* where is the closest gas station? Phone: Your question contains no frame of reference. Smartphoner: Well at least it's intelligible. Which gas station is closest to me? Phone: Your question contains no frame of reference. Smartphoner: Closest to me, I said. Where's the closest gas station? Phone: That is an unintelligible statement. Smar...

Tim Challies had this on his blog this morning. Oh my goodness, it’s the funniest video I’ve seen yet this winter. Yes, yes, I’m looking for a Mormon disco ball. The joke’s on me more than it’s on you.

Well, I covered my first election. That experience might become a blog post in itself. And I nearly hit 20,000 words last night in my NaNoWriMo novel. If I had been able to stay awake any longer I would have written the 308 more words required to actually reach 20,000! But now for your weekly dose of really random links… ban Comic Sans – oh my. It’s a haven of hilarity for graphic design nerds. And there’s even a host of alternatives to Comic Sans. How’s that for a positive approach to what could become a wholly negative campaign? (HT: Wesleigh ) The United States Department of Fear – parodying the real Dept. of Homeland Security. It’s amusing, though I don’t entirely agree with its politics. And I’m always a fan of parody and satire because, done in the right way, it can point out inconsistency, hypocrisy and/or subconscious assumptions that need to be recognized. ( Stuff Christians Like is by far my favorite parody website.) Along those same lines, the Chicago Tribune recent...

Yup, for the first time today, I sent a text message smack-dab in the middle of class. I stared at my little glowing screen on my tiny little phone, ignoring what was going on at the front of the room. Mostly because it was an unscheduled showing of a Monty Python video. It was supposed to illustrate some point about logic. It was a tenuous connection at best.

Remember that map of online communities that I loved ? There’s a new and improved version…. *does happy dance* By the way, you can see the larger version on xkcd .

1. Go to Google.com. 2. Type in “the answer to life the universe and everything”. 3. Click search. 4. Observe the answer that Google Calculator gives you.

My dad was at work this afternoon. Slow day, so he called me and we chatted a couple times. (He had to hang up at one point to take care of some people that showed up.) We talked for about 27 minutes total, 15 minutes the first time then 12 minutes a little later. This is what I love about conversations with my dad: He’s hilarious. For example—once in a while, he will ask if I have any romantic relationships or anything. However, he doesn’t awkwardly ask if I have a boyfriend. He always asks creatively. Today, this is how he broached the subject of my (nonexistent) love life: “So—I’m going to sound like a father now. In what decade to you plan to get married?” I laughed and told him this decade, I supposed. “OK. You know, if you plan to get married in this decade, there are certain steps to be taken. Have you taken any of those steps?” I told him not at this point, no. From that he asked: “So, does this mean you have a glimmer in your eye?” Again, I laughed. He then informed me ...

I saw a “What Would MacGyver Do?” Facebook page… and I randomly thought of this question. What would happen if MacGyver and Chuck Norris landed in the same universe? (This is how my mind works at two A.M….)

From one of my favorite humor blogs, Indexed : In other news, I read 38 pages of dating/relationship advice over the weekend (...) and am memorizing Romans 12:9-13 today, all as part of the Boundless Summer Challenge . I'll be posting a Facebook note tonight, theoretically, regarding the Bible passage. And, as promised, I'll try to post some excerpts of my Facebook notes here--maybe not as a digest, and probably before the week's end.

My mom sent this in a forward this morning. I couldn’t stop giggling. This is just a small taste of my kind of humor…. all the comments below the headlines are not my own; rather, they were part of the e-mail as sent to me. Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t you say? Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says No crap, really? Ya think? Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Now that's taking things a bit far! Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over What a guy! Miners Refuse to Work after Death No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant See if that works any better than a fair trial! War Dims Hope for Peace I can see whe...

I love maps. I love to hate Facebook. (Or something like that.) So, you can guess how much I love this. From xkcd, where the larger version may be viewed and laughed at . It appears to be slightly out of date (I’d guess that Facebook is a wee bit bigger than it appears on this map), but still entertaining. I happened to see this graphic over my brother’s shoulder a few minutes ago.

(Today, a guest post from Jon Acuff, writer of Stuff Christians Like....) The “Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian? Scorecard” 73. They mention they have never seen American Idol before because they don’t own a TV = + 1 point To add up your score with over a 130 other ideas on this scorecard, visit stuffchristianslike.net . Now for my own notes: in other words, the full list is here ! Up next: #74 . It's a progressive dinner of scorecard! And for the record, I really have seen American Idol. Despite not having cable at home and only pulling in one channel with the digital receiver box. (At least we have a TV.) I rather enjoy all the singing, though I could do with less of some other aspects of the show. My youth group at church used to watch it on Wednesday nights, in the first season or two. I didn't often stay for it (which had more to do with the youth group than the show), but once or twice I was hanging around while it was on and I managed to ...

My siblings are funny. On the way back from my church's Good Friday service (which was attended by all of maybe 40 people, out of a church pushing 200 on Sunday mornings), my brother told me something he'd found out recently. It went like this: "If you eat a bar of chocolate every day for 36,000 days, you'll live to be a hundred." (Think about it.) Anyways, the catch was he accidentally told me (the first time) 3600, not 36,000. But once we got the facts straightened out, I laughed. Oh, by the way, the website where my brother had found this gem of knowledge was My Life Is Average (MLIA for short). My sister reports that about half the stuff on there is quite funny.

I saw a rather amusing Dave Barnes video today. It was linked off of the Boundless blog simply as " utterly fluffy " and that just made me curious. I was... surprised by what I saw. However it was amusing, as I said. Funny thing is, I'm almost positive I've heard the name before, connected with YouTube. I have no idea how....

My mom found this in her e-mail yesterday. She read it to me and my sister. I laughed my head off. And here, I share the Christmas joy with you all. ----------------- Once again this holiday, I have had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake Recipe so here goes: 1 cup sugar 1 tsp. baking powder 1 cup water 1 tsp. salt 1 cup brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 1 bottle tequila 2 cups dried fruit Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to tes...

Totally on a different note about Facebook. I just went through and deleted all those useless quiz applications on my Facebook account. However, I did keep a few.... Just saying. Apparently, the geeks have the best senses of humor. Also, I myself wrote the "What kind of clock are you" one, with my roommate. My favorite, though, was the math equation one, and then "what are you?" one (very similar to the random object quiz).

So, homework for the weekend is to write out a fairy tale in Spanish. We get to choose from one of four, including Cinderella; and I was talking about our assignment with some of the girls, when I found out they'd never heard the story of Rindercella! So I looked on the Internet today and--lo and behold--there was a version very similar to the one my mom told me years ago! It's so much fun to tell these things... and there are more spoonerist-fairy-tales (otherwise known as tairy fales) all over the place !